I told you about how I watched a boatload of Sons of Anarchy over Christmas weekend. Everyone smokes in that damn show. For whatever reason, the urges started again. I ignored them until today. I bummed a smoke off a coworker. I am not proud.
What I am, is sick. After having just one, I am now dizzy and sick to my stomach. I can remember back when I first started smoking, 21 years ago, this is how they made me feel. I couldn't imagine how anyone could get addicted to them. But I kept smoking because my friends smoked (yeah, yeah, peer pressure) and eventually they didn't make me sick anymore. And I found them to be quite delicious and comforting.
I guess enough time has passed for my body to once again reject the poison. This is the warning it's giving me. And I am humbled. I suppose I needed the reminder. Doesn't matter how much I know I used to enjoy them, doesn't matter how delicious they look when other people smoke them, I can safely say I do not like cigarettes anymore. Ugh.
Now I will continue to pay the price for my lapse in judgment, probably a good hour or so. I plan on another SoA marathon this weekend, starting tomorrow (the office is closed, yay!). Only this time I don't think the constant smoking will look all that appealing.
That is all.