My son's appointment went well. The child study team at his preschool wanted him evaluated by a neurologist as part of their overall evaluations to see where he should be placed for kindergarten. They told me it was really precautionary and they just wanted to cover all their bases.

As it turns out, the neurologist diagnosed him with both speech apraxia and OCD. The OCD I figured, but I had never heard of apraxia. Basically, there is such a delay between brain and tongue (or brain and lips, etc.) that he can't say some of his letters properly. He needs more intense speech therapy and also occupational therapy. His apraxia also seems to be why his fine motor skills are lagging as well. So, it's not terrible. It can be worked with and he should be able to completely catch up with the proper therapies. I'll have to wait to hear from the school to find out what type of class he'll be placed in.

As for the OCD, the doc asked me if I wanted to try medication, but I said no. It's not impacting his schooling or social life in a negative way. It can be frustrating, but we're trying to break him of these tendencies in other ways. Medication is an absolute last resort. He's only 5, I'm not drugging him.

In other news, saw yet another move last night. This one care of Netflix. Shuttle was actually better than I expected. It had its typical, horror-movie moments, but in the end I was left disturbed and it stuck with me for awhile. In fact, I'll probably never watch it again because I was so bothered by it. But it was well done, so I'll recommend it.

Probably will end up finally watching The Wrestler this weekend. Need to get this depressionfest out of the way so I can move on to livelier movies in my Netflix list. heh

Well, happy Friday all!

~Meg

I put review in quotes because I don't really do reviews. So many people do that so much better than I do. But I will tell you what I thought of the latest stop on the movie theater tour.

Saw Drag Me To Hell and I'm glad I did. I saw the previews for it awhile ago and laughed (not in the good way) and groaned. Looked like Raimi had lost it. I was convinced that it would be just like 95% of the other horror movies that have come out in the last decade. Absolute crap. But then I saw it had such a high rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And then I heard people talking about it, in a positive way. So, I relented and decided to give it a shot.

I took my daughter and her friend, as well as my main movie buddy (who remained even more skeptical than me). Now, it wasn't Evil Dead, and that's ok. But it was reminiscent of the old Raimi, before those horrible Spiderman movies. It was over the top, in true Raimi fashion, but so well done. It was hilarious and disgusting and ridiculous and FUN! Do I think it would have been better with an R rating? I can see the argument for that. But I really thought it was plenty entertaining as it was. And my daughter loved it. So there you have it. I would definitely recommend checking it out.

Next movie on the tour will probably be Year One. I love both Jack Black and Michael Cera, so it should be really good times. :-) I still have The Wrestler and Shuttle from Netflix to watch. Maybe this weekend.

In other news, I have my son with me at work today. He's being so well behaved, I'm proud of him. :-) He's got an appointment with the neurologist that's in my building. His school is paying for it. Just another kind of evaluation they're doing to see where he should be placed next year. It's mostly his speech that's behind, but he's got some fine motor issues as well, so this is just a precautionary appointment to rule out anything physical, I suppose. We'll be headed out to lunch soon and then on to the appointment. So wish us luck!

~Meg

So I had a really full weekend. Saw a couple of movies, had some kid time, had some friend time. Definitely a weekend well spent. But I'm absolutely exhausted.

Went out to a bar on Saturday night and had only played to stay a short while. But then we found out it was karaoke night, so we were there until about 1:30 AM singing our hearts out. heh I was out having a smoke when I heard some chick singing MY karaoke song. I was so mad! I always do Me and Bobby McGee by Janice Joplin. And this girl didn't do it as well as I do. Sigh. So I ended up singing some Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, and Tracy Bonham. Good times!

Sunday I took the kids to see Up which I loved. It was my son's first time to the movie theater, and he was really well behaved. Both kids had a great time. Definitely be prepared for some heart-string tugging, but it was really well done and very sweet. And I love Doug! heh What I didn't love, though, was the family that took up the entire row behind me. There were kids galore and mothers and fathers and grandmas and aunts and uncles. It was like a freakin' family reunion back there, which is fine, except for the fact that BOTH the adults and children were obnoxious. There were two kids there that were just too young for the theater. I don't care if the movie is PG, that doesn't mean your two-year-old with the attention span of a cricket should go. The kids were constantly up and down and talking. The youngest actually started crying at one point, and instead of taking her out the parents just kept shushing her. Yeah, that works. And even the adults were up and down and talking. My seat was constantly being kicked and knocked into, and at one point one of the kids yanked some of my hair out while galloping past my seat. I was ready to punch every one of them. If I hadn't had my kids there, I would have turned around and threatened the closest adult. But I made my annoyance known with plenty of staredowns and loud sighs. heh

Sunday was movie day, as I also went with a friend to see Land of the Lost that night. It was cute. Entertaining and funny, but nothing special. It's a better rental, not really worth the price of a theater ticket. But I had a good time. Next up is Drag Me to Hell. Maybe Tuesday night. So much is coming out this summer that I want to see. I'm spending all my money on movies!

Well, that's about all I've got for you. Three nights in a row of getting home after 1 AM have taken their toll. Don't know how I'll make it through the work day. Ugh.

~Meg

Been busy since my last post. Always something going on these days, but at least life's not boring.

Have seen a couple of movies, loving my new Netflix subscription. So, A Tale of Two Sisters...really not as good as I had hoped. I mean, it was ok, but it went on way too long. I felt like I was watching The Return of the King again ("Ok it's over. Wait, no it's not. Ok, now it's over. No, no, still not over. Is it over this time?") and I think it was confusing just to be confusing. I didn't find it clever in the least. Some of the imagery was truly creepy though and I can see why some people liked it. But I was disappointed.

The Day the Earth Stood Still remake was just as terrible as everybody says. I KNEW it was going to be terrible. I had no desire to see it. In fact, I never desire to see any film with Keanu Reeves. But my movie partner really wanted to check it out, and I made him sit through Two Sisters, so I owed him one. But yeah, he agreed that it was total shit. They totally missed the point of the original. It was worse than most SciFi channel movies. There was really nothing good to say about it. Special effects were kind of cool, but that's it. And the acting pretty much sucked all around. Just, terrible. Blech.

I may take the kiddos to see Up this weekend. And I also want to see Land of the Lost and Drag Me to Hell, but there are only so many hours in a weekend. I still have The Wrestler from Netflix as well, but I hear it's a major downer so I need to be in the mood for it. I'm expecting Shuttle to arrive tomorrow. I'm just drowning in movies!

I suppose that's about all I've got for you today. Life isn't all that interesting. Just working and spending time with the kids and friends. But things are good. I'm happier than I have been in awhile, so that's saying something.

~Meg

When it comes to horror movies, in my experience, true brilliance is extremely rare. Out of the hundreds I've seen, only a dozen or so stand out in my mind as being thoroughly enjoyable and close to perfect. Another few dozen rank as "meh" and the rest are ultimately crap...though some of them are craptacular and so, in their own ways, aren't really so bad. (If you have followed along thusfar without being completely confused, yay for you!)

So last night I saw one that was "meh." In most cases, you hear the word "meh" and think so-so. In this case, so-so is better than average, because the average horror movie sucks donkey balls. (At least in the last couple of decades.) Let me get to the point already (can you tell I'm trying to kill time?). Last night's film was Splinter. A tale of abduction gone awry and the introduction of a really cool monster. The gore was satisfactory (not over-the-top for me, but some might disagree), the monster was new and really disturbing, and one of the actors was pretty damn good! They were a bunch of no names and I can't be bothered to look up who played who. But the male abductor was pretty awesome. The female lead was kind of annoying, but ok. However, the lead male abductee made me want to drive nails into my head. But even he couldn't turn the "meh" into crap.

An all-around entertaining movie that I'd actually recommend. Next on the Netflix list Horrorwise is A Tale of Two Sisters which I've heard both good and bad about. I shall reserve judgement. Also on the list is The Wrestler which I've been itching to see.

That's about all I've got for you today folks.

~Meg

It's not like I wasn't warned. Rotten Tomatoes had it listed at 33%. Every friend of mine who saw it told me it sucked. I read some reviews. Just the fact that it was PG-13 was enough to warn me off. But I still went to see it. I went not with low expectations, but with NO expectations. And that is why I didn't cry about it and complain about wasting my money and blah blah. Even the title to this post isn't fair, since I knew what I was getting into. I just thought it sounded funny.

So, yes, people. The negative hype is correct. This movie was TERRIBLE. I mean, like, almost unwatchable. And maybe I missed something, but it seems to me like it ignores all three of its predecessors. I am a Christian Bale fan, but they gave him nothing to do. In fact, they didn't give any of the characters much to do. I didn't give a crap about any of them. By the end I was rooting for the machines. I won't tell you who wins or what happens or any of that. No spoilers here. But even if I did it wouldn't matter. Because you simply won't care.

Special effects were awesome, I'll give it that. But that's where the awesomeness ends. It's too bad the franchise had to go out on such a horrible note. At least I hope it's gone out. Please Hollywood... give up now! No more terminator movies! For shame!

Oh, but one really good thing did come out of me going to see this piece of crap. The trailer for Sherlock Holmes made me creamy in the pantaloons! Wooooooo!

And in other news, after seeing the previews for Drag Me To Hell I wanted to cry. It looks like such utter crap. But I am a fan of Raimi's horror (NOT of his Spiderman. Ugh.). Still, I told myself it wasn't worth seeing, the trailer had all I needed to know. But then, I find out it's got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. I think there are only about 15 reviews up, but still, that's pretty fuckin' impressive for a horror movie. I don't think I've ever seen any movie get 100%, let alone a horror flick. So now I'm curious. Does the trailer just look stupid? Do I dare spend the money on this film? I'm still on the fence. Thoughts?

~Meg

Today is one of those rare days where I have nothing to do at work. I guess I've been too productive this week. So, I've got a short list of little things that I need to do, but I could probably finish it in a half hour. So I'm trying to spread the tasks out.

This doesn't usually bother me, since most days I have too much to do and am pulling my hair out. The rare slow day is a nice break. But though I slept well last night, it was only for 5 hours, so I'm pooped, and the less I have to do, the longer the day drags. Not cool when your eyes are heavy.

I do have one thing to keep me occupied. Something I swore I'd never get into. As some of you know, I have a Facebook page. Anyone familiar with Facebook knows about all the different apps people send. "Send your friends a virtual plant." "Send your friends a virtual fish." "What ___ are you" quizzes galore. And I take part in many of them, just to kill time. But I never got involved in any of the games, really. Some Scrabble here and there, but that's about it.

My co-worker begged me to join his mafia in Mafia Wars (not Mob Wars, that's actually a different game, one that I've played but got bored of quickly) because he needed a boost in numbers. He swore I wouldn't even have to play, just accept his invitation. So I did. But I figured since I joined, I might as well check it out. Well, a week later I'm at level 13 and massively addicted. Oy! If I had more time, I'd be at level 100 by now, I'm sure. But I can only play for a few minutes at a time throughout the day. And I'm so busy after work I rarely get a chance to turn on my laptop. But I try to squeeze in a bit of play here and there at home. It's a simple game, really. Which is probably why I'm addicted. What it takes, mostly, is patience and time. Two things I have little of, but yet, I keep going back!

Anyhoo, it's gotten to a point where I'm strategizing when I'm driving and I'm constantly bugging my friends that play to help me out. And I try to be as helpful to them as possible as well. I'm sure it's just a phase I'm going through, like when I played Monopoly on my phone ALL the time for a few weeks. heh But, I'll enjoy it for now. And the only reason I'm not over there right now? I'm waiting to build up some more energy so I can do some more jobs... like robbing pimps and stealing cars. Woot!

So yeah, if you're on Facebook... check it out. And join my mafia! ;-)

~Meg

Behold... tattoo number 10. It's on the top of my right foot. :-) Much love and thanks to Vinnie from Jinx Proof Tattoo in Montclair, NJ who drew and inked it for me. Anyone in the area looking for a good tattoo shop, I couldn't recommend Jinx highly enough. Great atmosphere, amazing artists, and top-notch service. I will be returning!



~Meg

First, go see Star Trek. I mean it! I had my doubts, but I was totally blown away. The casting was brilliant! And I really do think it's enjoyable for both fans of the show and those who have never seen an episode. I hope this is the start of a beautiful new franchise.

Second, have some lyrics to Ghetto Love. I mentioned this song yesterday and considering what's going on in my life right now, I think it's the best way to express myself today. Enjoy.

Hey now, there now,
It’s a game to be played out
Amongst thieves of the heart
And the whores of the ego

Hey now, there now
Kiss everyone’s ailments
See them rise up,
Exalt and illuminate

Humanity is a deer in the headlights
The road is covered in blood
Free yourself with a dagger from above
A crossbow of faith

You sold your heart for the primal experience
Gave up on love for a medal malevolent
You fill yourself with the fire of innocence
A karmic stain will bring back through the gates again

Oh how I wonder what will become, of us
I’m just a girl out looking for love
Oh how I wonder what will become, of us
I’m just a girl out looking for love

You want in me what you see is a testament
You never know when you love what you’ll manifest
I’m Joan of Arc on a mission avenge loves death
I’m gonna win I’ll never give in

Oh how I wonder what will become, of us
I’m just a girl out looking for love
I’m just a girl out looking for love
I’m just a girl out looking for love
I’m just a girl out looking for love
I’m just a girl out looking for love

~Meg

So, once again I find myself in a precarious situation. But it's different this time. I'm different this time. I know who I am, and though I may not know exactly what I want, I know what I don't want to deal with. And so I can easily turn my back. It feels good to know that I can walk away from people and situations now and it won't eat at me. I don't feel the need to cling to something that isn't working.

But with this new sense of freedom and strength comes a curiosity. I've never been one to like the unknown. Who does, really? So I like to play along. See things through. Watch and learn. I wondered for awhile what I was doing, what I was thinking. And now I know why it is I play the game. The outcome is always a lesson, and you can never have too many of those.

I feel so different. It's at once exciting and nerve-wracking. I like this new me. I don't do things out of need now. I do things out of want. It's very liberating.

The people closest to me are raising their eyebrows. They assume I'm the same pathetic creature I was a year ago. They think that I'm being snowballed, suckered, manipulated. They think I'm falling for the same old crap. And it doesn't matter how many times I tell them it isn't the case, they don't believe me. And that's fine. It's not their business anyway. Even the current players probably feel that they have more control over what I do than they really have. In fact, I have all the control this time. Because no one controls me anymore. Again... want vs. need. I need no one. And I'm not afraid to lose people. As long as I have my kids and my closest friends, I don't really care.

Am I colder? Maybe. Smarter? Definitely. Selfish? Well, that's a matter of perspective. I don't think I am, others can disagree.

I don't really know what the point of this post is other than maybe to say it "out loud." I am not the needy girl you think I am. I am stronger than you realize.

~Meg

*Title stolen from a new song I'm obsessed with. Ghetto Love by Spinerette.

What kind of tattoo parlor closes at 9 on a Friday? Needless to say, I did not get my tattoo. And considering this place has the lamest hours ever, I don't know when I'll be getting it. This makes me sad. Sigh.

17 years ago I got my first tattoo in a little shop in downtown Montclair, NJ. I was 15 and nervous as hell. I was not old enough to get one, I did not have my parents' permission, and I did not have a fake ID. All I knew was that my friend Mike had brought his girlfriend there a couple months prior (she was 16) and she got one without a problem. I had wanted a tattoo since I was about 10. And this was not my first attempt.

Mike and I had actually been on our way to a different tattoo shop a month before, one that he knew for a fact would give an underager a break. But on the way there, his 1977 Dodge Charger's driveshaft just fell out while we were driving... right on the New Jersey Turnpike. It was not meant to be that day.

So there I was, finally walking into a tattoo parlor, ready for my first one, and I knew it would be the first of many. I had it all planned out. I wanted a black rose. (Yes, yes, I was so angsty and goth.) I walk in, I pick a rose off the wall, they hand me a slip of paper I am to sign to allow them to give me the tattoo (and prevent me from suing them), and I fill it out. It asked for my birthday. That was 1992, I was 15, so I did some math in my head, trying to figure out what year I would have had to be born in to be 18. I messed up my calculations, crossed out the year, and fixed it. I thought for sure I was busted. But the guy barely even looked at the paper when he told me to hop into the chair.

I was wearing a button-down which I had to take halfway off. I wanted the tat above my left breast. So I sat in that chair, holding my shirt and bra around my boobs to prevent the world from seeing them, and closed my eyes. I heard the needle start buzzing and my stomach knotted up. I was petrified. Let's just say I had been a big baby about getting my ears pierced, and I knew this was going to be a lot worse. Then I felt the needle touch my skin and I squirmed a little in the chair. I bit my lip and did my best to sit still. It hurt, but not the way I expected. It was exhilerating, and more than a little sexy. I found myself really enjoying it, and after a bit, my skin sort of went numb and I couldn't feel much of anything. But just the sound of it, the look of the ink going into my skin and the tiny drops of blood that would appear here and there, the smell of the place and the banter between the patrons and employees, the metal blasting on the speakers... it was amazing. And I knew then I was an addict.

The whole thing took only about a half hour. I was given care instructions and sent on my way with a piece of gauze taped over it. I knew my parents would flip out, so for the next year I kept it covered around them. They never did notice. I actually admitted to them one day when I was 16 that I had it. I was tired of hiding it and wanted to show it off. But I had done so much worse since getting that tattoo that the news didn't even phase them. They just made me promise to wait until I was 18 to get my next one, and I did.

In the last 17 years I've gotten a total of 9 tattoos. Each one of them has its own story. Each one has special meaning to me. The last one I got was around my birthday last year, and I decided then that I'd get one once a year around the same time until I was done with everything I wanted. My birthday came and went this year and I hadn't had much chance to really think about the annual tat. But a friend of mine just moved to Montclair, and I helped him. We passed that tattoo shop where I got my first and I decided that I'd go back there, very soon, to get my 10th.

Tonight is the night. At least, I hope it's the night. I didn't make an appointment or anything. And I have to wait for my friend to get out of work before we head over there. So I'm hoping it's not busy and they'll do it for me tonight. Otherwise I'll have to make an appointment for next week or something.

So... here's to #10. I am SO excited! I'm getting it on the top of my right foot. You'll have to wait for pictures to know what it is, though. And like all the ones that came before, it too has a special meaning to me.

~Meg

And I am confident that it's not just a phase. I have had a CRAZY couple of weeks. Serious surprises and eye openers. And now I find myself here. And I'm happy. And things are still a little surreal, but it just feels right. And people on the outside may think I'm a little nuts, and some might even be a little hurt, but I am doing what is right for ME and I feel really good about it.

If it bites me in the ass, that's my problem.

So, anyway, yeah... happy dance!

~Meg

If there is one thing I can say about my life right now, it's that there is never a dull moment. I've been striving to put the pieces back together, to figure out who I am and where I want to go, and it's been an adventure for sure. I can say with certainty that I know who I am now. As for where I'm going, that remains to be seen. I have a couple of goals in mind, but aside from that, I'm trying to leave myself open to new experiences and possibilities.

And I'm having fun.

Yup. You heard me right. I'm having a fucking blast for once, and it's all because I've switched focus to my own life instead of others'. There's something to be said for being selfish.

So I feel good right now. Things just feel right. I'm not constantly in a panic, and I'm taking things as they come. Never thought I'd see the day where that would happen. So... yay!

Now, if I could only kick this cold that seems to come and go at will. I swear I'm sick every other week! Blech.

~Meg

Sometimes the wolf is in wolf's clothing, and you're just too blind to see it. Or unwilling to see it.

I see it now. I see things very clearly.

And I am done.

It feels good to know that.

I am no longer angry. I'm just done.

~Meg

Well, the Meghan's 32nd b-day celebrations have finally wound down to a close. The finale was a little shindig I threw on Saturday night which was a blast! Thanks to all those who came out to help me celebrate! Special shout outs to nick_kaufmann, shocklines, Gordon, Jane, Gina, and Robin for coming all the way out from the city and Long Island. For those who were unable to make it, you were missed, but BBQ season will be upon us shortly!

I got some awesome presents, including the new Lily Allen CD, the Essential Concrete Blonde, The Dollyrots, and Whedus (did I spell that right?). Yay for new music! Also got two books that are VERY me. 101 Ways to Flip the Bird (sign of the cross is my favorite!), and a book of sexual positions for every birthday, that includes birthday fortunes! hehehe Also got me a B&N gift card, so that will be spent before the week is out. I love new books! Woooooo!

So thank you again to everyone that helped me celebrate, your company was much appreciated! I'm STILL recovering, as I haven't been that drunk in a long time! :-)

~Meg

I've said, "It's one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time" several times this week and thought it about time to actually write them down somewhere. Here will do. Please feel free to list your own top 10.

And these are in no particular order, the top 10 are just that, my 10 favorite movies.

Hellraiser
Phantasm
Sid and Nancy
Heathers
Amadeus
The Princess Bride
Vertigo
The Secretary
Jesus Christ Superstar (the original film based on the musical)
Let the Right One In (this one just made the list, kicking off Bully, which is still an incredible movie)

~Meg

So, last night I went to a friend's and watched my new DVD of Let the Right One In and rewatched Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog. Not a bad way to spend my birthday eve. I was super excited to watch LTROI again, but a little worried because I'd heard they changed the English subtitles, in essence dumbing it down. Though I did notice a few changes here and there, I don't think it ruined the movie.

I have to say, I was convinced that my friend would love this movie as much as I do, but he wasn't thrilled with it. I really don't think the subtitles had anything to do with it, moreso it just wasn't his type of movie. He gave it props for what it was, but it was a little long and slow for his taste. Understandable. I still say it's the best movie I saw in '08, and in my top 10 faves of all time.

Dr. Horrible on the other hand, had him laughing as hysterically as me. I even bought the soundtrack off iTunes yesterday and have been listening to it over and over. I can't get the songs out of my head! I highly recommend you check this one out, as it's hilarious, sweet, and sad all rolled into one. And it's got Bad Horse! The thoroughbred of sin! Squee!

So some family came over on Sunday to celebrate my and Andre's birthdays. This Saturday is my friend b-day party. Tonight I'm not really doing anything special, but it's all good. I hate when my b-day falls on a week day. Next year I think I'll take the whole week of my b-day off. heh

~Meg